The Glitter of this Dunya

Why is it that whenever I see a girl my age (a teenager essentially) who is dressed in the nicest, newest clothes, with the cutest shoes and the nicest handbag, I feel a little twist in my chest telling me that I could look just as good, if only I were to take off my hijab? Take it off, and you’ll look ten times better than all the girls in those Facebook photos; take it off, and you’ll be smiling and happy and carefree, just like the rest of them. 

Sometimes it’s hard to get that voice to shut up. It seems as if this consumer society that sells values of instant gratification and materialistic pleasures is directly at odds with what we learn at Madrasa. From friends at school we know that the new coat from H&M and those shoes from Aldo are what we should be spending our hard-earned cash on; at Madrasa teachers urge us to spend it on the needy. From music videos we learn that women are little more than the play-things of men and that sexual relationships are the norm; our instructors at Islamic school teach us the stories of the honoured women in the Quran and that premarital relations with the opposite sex are not permissible in Islam. Some teachers tell us about the journey of the British to the Americas; other teachers tell us of Prophet Muhammad SAW’s journey from Mecca to Madinah. With this information overload, Islamic values seem to always take a backseat to materialistic consumer ideals.

As Muslim adolescents, with our confusion about everything, how are we expected to separate the messages and values of two different sources that play major roles in our lives? The society we live in has a lot to offer us; opportunities to receive the best schooling and make the best of ourselves with regard to the Dunya. But that is the key word isn’t it? Dunya. The society we live in cannot help us or benefit us in any way with regards to the Akhirah. As teenagers, we need to get smart and realize that this tempting and glittering image of the Dunya that society paints so beautifully will be to our detriment in the Hereafter. We need to become aware of what is the Truth and stop fighting so vehemently against all the adults, Sheikhs, teachers and parents who are only trying to get us to open our eyes and see. 

“As to those who reject faith, it is the same to them whether thou warn them or do not warn them; they will not believe. Allah hath set a seal on their hearts and on their hearing. And on their eyes is a veil; great is the chastisement they (incur).” [Baqarah: 6-7]

Is this how we young Muslims want to be? When our parents warn us about the Wrong we are doing, will we not take a moment and listen? 

My advice to youth today, and to myself, is to seek knowledge because once we are educated we will, Inshallah, be able to understand what we should follow from society -the good aspects of society- and what is Fitnah and will only push us further into the Path of Misguidance. Only then will we have the strength of Iman –Faith- with us, and only then will be able to reject all that is Evil in society. Hopefully at that time we will be also able to combat any and all temptations that could cause us to stray from the Path. Ameen.

“Those who desire the life of the Present and its glitter,- to them We shall pay (the price of) their deeds therein,- without diminution. They are those for whom there is nothing in the Hereafter but the Fire: vain are the designs they frame therein, and of no effect are the deeds they do!” [Hud: 15-16]

The Grey Area

As teenagers we often give ourselves a pass when deciding to do something, especially if that particular thing doesn’t fall in a category we are familiar with. Let me clarify what I mean, metaphorically speaking everyone keeps referring to the barrier between right and wrong  as a red line. Honestly, is it that obvious? In my opinion if it was then why do we make such mistakes? Mistakes that we end up regretting. From a teenager to another I wish it was that obvious, I wish we could see it always that way we won’t fall off the wagon; we won’t be led astray. 

Allow me to introduce you to a new category, if we assume white is right, black is wrong and grey is something unidentifiable in between. You’re doubts and insecurities are in the grey area, keep that in mind. How do we choose the right path? How do I stand in the middle of a cross road with the road in front of me is paving my way to righteousness, and the one I’m giving my back to is pulling me towards something completely different, a contradictory act? Let us free ourselves from idealism and perfection because lets face it, you’ll never find a solution to a problem if you deny it in the first place. Yes, every once in a while we make a lousy decision but are you with me to stop that from happening? 

I’m not going to come up with a master plan guaranteed to work. However, I will use logic and reason. Let us all vow to reflect on the consequences of the decision we’re making beforehand. Contemplate on every little thing in your grey area, see if Allah will approve and be pleased with such an act. Sounds easy enough, but what if we do think thoroughly and still can’t make a clear cut decision about what is black and what is white? Well, then I have to ask you another question; who is there for you when no one else is? Who is most reliable and can lead you to the right path? Who forgives you no matter how horrible your mistakes are and offers you a second chance? Allah (SWT). Then pray to Him, ask Him for help you in making a decision, ask for forgiveness and for power and strength to carry on. Let your forehead touch the carpet you pray on,  smell the beautiful scent from Al Kaaba you just sprayed, pause for a long moment feeling you’re close to Allah (SWT) and ask for guidance.

I guess my point is, that as young men and women we sometimes find difficulty in categorizing what is allowed and what is forbidden but our young age shouldn’t be taken as an excuse. We were given minds to think, to weigh all options and consequences, to decide for ourselves which life we’d rather lead because quiet simply no person will be with us every step of the way. Remember, after the journey ends you only remember where you’ve reached. Suppose this journey is life and the destination is paradise isn’t it worth fighting for? Fighting for what is right? Pushing ourselves towards good and away from evil? Here is for a changing point, a new beginning with wise decisions made, a new chapter in our lives lets make it worth reading inshaaAllah.

Fighting off the Fire

So here’s the thing.

Often as Muslims we are told to do one thing. But everyone around us is doing the opposite.

They seem so happy. Always smiling, laughing, having a great time. They seem like they have no problems.

But beneath this outward facade, do you see what truly lies below?

Take dating for instance. We are told that the only true relationship that can be sustained between a man and a woman is through marriage.

In other words, no dating.

And yet we see people around us free to date, free to socialize with the opposite gender, with no restrictions and no worries.

They seem so happy, don’t they? They post pictures of themselves, they advertise their relationships, they write love letters, they are always smiling always excited.

But what happens when those relationships end? Hearts are broken. Feelings are hurt. What seemed so perfect suddenly turns viral, and worsens quickly. Leads to cutting. Depression. Suicide.

What happens when those relationships go too far? When you have teenage pregnancies and children without parents? Abortions. Incurable diseases. Problems with parents. Kids getting kicked out of their homes, having to carry huge responsibilities they shouldn’t have to deal with for years to come.

And yet, when you think about it, this all seems so extreme, doesn’t it? I mean, not every relationship gets broken. Not every dating teenager goes too far. These are all worst case scenarios, right?

Yeah, I think we all feel that way at some point in time. And the thing is, people tell you, “well it could happen”. “It’s a possibility.” “You should stay away from the risk.” And that’s true. That’s very true. But usually, you think to yourself, “Well I don’t have to worry about that. I’m better than this. I can control myself.” And that may also be true.

This ayah always helps me when I think this way.

وعسى أن تكرهوا شيئاً وهو خيرٌ لكم وعسى أن تحبوا شيئاً وهو شرٌ لكم والله يعلم وأنتم لا تعلمون

It is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knows and you know not. [Quran 2:216]

Think about it this way.

Say you’re in a small, cramped wooden shack. Outside, the air is cool, the night is beautiful, the stars are twinkling in the sky. But inside, there’s a huge, roaring fire in the middle of the room. It’s licking the walls, it’s everywhere, it’s consuming the oxygen and turning the whole room orange.

The fire doesn’t quite reach every corner of the room. You tell yourself, if you just stay in the corner, it won’t burn you. It won’t touch you.

But once you move, you will get burned. Once you lose your footing and slip, you will get burned. Once you flinch, you will get burned. If you move one foot, one inch, one centimeter, one millimeter, you will get burned. And that burn will need attention. Medical attention. Healing time. And that scar, that scar will never go away. Ever.

Say you don’t move. Say you have this massively amazing self control. Say you stay completely still in your little corner and that fire doesn’t reach you. You still can’t deny that you’ll be standing in that corner hot and sweaty and completely EXHAUSTED with the effort of fighting off that fire, of staying in that shack. And eventually, you will be so exhausted that whatever you’re fighting that fire for will seem worthless. Eventually, you will be so exhausted that you will fall in the fire, and you will be burned. It will beat you. You will be burned.

So I have a very simple question for you.

Why not just leave the shack?

Imagine yourself in the shoes of Abu Bakr. Being out of town and hearing your best friend has passed away. The man you laughed with, cried with, who brought you the haqq, and made it possible for you to be a Muslim, by the grace of Allah. Imagine being that man, who was known for being soft, who walked upon the dead body of his head, kissing his forehead, and walking away…Imagine, being like that man Abu Bakr As-Siddiq, who brought the Muslims together saying ‘Those who worship Muhammad. Let them know, he is dead. But those who worship Allah, let them know Allah never dies”. May Allah be pleased with the Salaf.

(via ahighawayflyer)

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